A Very Shy Snail

(Well you asked for this… literally)

You Moose Be Kidding Me

“Well we’ll just see what the CAA adjudicates when I…” Carolyn interrupted him with her ‘alpha dog’ speech and by this time Douglas was genuinely beginning to panic. He needs to find a way to wriggle out of this. There’s no way that he can get into that pool.

“Carolyn, I’m sorry, there’s no way that I can…” and then she pushed him. A firm shove in the direction of swimming pool and dummy, and so it began. First came the antlers, they were always the first, and the worst, because at this point he was still aware of what was going on.

He was aware too of the thickening fur, of the bones beginning to break and reform. It was agonising. Thankfully he wasn’t aware of too much after that point, and then nothing much at all until he woke up later wrapped in several towels and with a worried air-dot crew staring down at him.

“It’s the water, I…” he can’t think of a way of explaining this that will make him seem like anything more than the freak he is. The silence that follows his aborted statement is oppressive until…

“Douglas… that was BRILLIANT!”